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Her kind

According to tyrell it is National Poetry Day so here is one I posted in my LJ almost exactly five years ago. I just love it.

Her Kind

I have gone out, a possessed witch
haunting the black air, braver at night;
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch
over the plain houses, light by light:
lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.
I have been her kind.

I have found the warm caves in the woods,
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,
closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:
whining, rearranging the disalign.
A woman like that is misunderstood.
I have been her kind.

I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,
learning the last bright routes, survivor
where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.
I have been her kind.

(c) Anne Sexton

Writer's Block: Open book test

Based on the books on your bookshelf, what conclusions would people draw about you?

That I read a lot! And that I am a collosal nerd. I have one wall of my hall just full of bookshelves, which are packed so tight I get a bunch falling on the floor if I shut my front door too hard. The books on those shelves are mostly sci-fi and fantasy seasoned with cookbooks and the odd historical novel. Although my DVD collection is encroaching, I still have loads of books there.

I also have three sets of bookshelves in my bedroom full of my pagan, witchcraft, magical, and complementary therapy books. Luckily no-one has looked too closely at those else they would realise that I am just a hippy at heart. I guess the sickle diverts their attention. :D

PS I can heartily endorse M&S hold ups. They stay up through anything! ;o)

This is quite sweet.

And once someone said to me that he was surprised, when seeing Sigur Ros for the first time, that they weren't little elves or something, and I know what he meant. Anyone who titles a track Hjartao Hamast (Bamm Bamm Bamm) has to be a little bit ethereal! Good track though!

Writer's Block: Something to cry about

How do you feel about corporeal punishment?

Well I suppose physical, tangible, or bodily punishment is an all round bad thing if it is not deserved or requested. :) What I particularly like about this one is not only did the question poser not check their definitions, neither did LJ.

I am waking up far too early for some reason. Yesterday may have been the result of a hangover *cof* but today wasn't and I was still awake before 7am! That helped though because I had left all the prep for the picnic til today. This morning I have made rice salad, greek salad, houmous, pitta chips, and banana bread. I made courgette bread yesterday! Now I just have to pack it up and get to Rowntrees Park by 2pm.

This next bit will probably only interest tired_spirit. My niece came up from London yesterday - she is studying at York Uni and so her Mum thought it better for her to come early and get a job before the rest of the rabble get here. So Mum took us all out to Melton's for tea (mainly to say well done to the kids for passing their various exams). It was definitely one of the better meals we have had there. Me and Daisy had carpaccio of beef with wasabi marscapone, Ellie and Mum had warm goats cheese souffle to start. For main I had the rose veal with squash, summer leaves and dauphinoise potatoes, Mum and Daisy had the venison with damson puree, cabbage with bacon, and mash, and Ellie had the turmeric chicken but with the venison sides as she won't eat peppers. Then for pud Ellie had the lemon souffle, Mum and Daisy had the chocolate and black cherry cake, and I had cheese and biscuits. It was all absolutely gorgeous! When Melton's get it right, they really get it right!

In slightly less happy news, I have finally had to dump a FWB. M has been a bit of a pig for a couple of weeks but last week he messed me about something rotten. I don't have much free time so I prefer the free time I have to not be wasted. I told him when I would be free and he managed to arrange something else every evening, then whine because I was out the only night he was free. The fact I had told him last weekend made it even more difficult to bear. It got to the point where I actually thought he had worked out some Machiavellian plan to drive me crazy, but I realised that was giving him far too much credit. So I deleted his number from my phone and felt a lot better. It's a shame when any sort of relationship ends but that one was getting me down.

I better start packing my picnic stuff. I hope the weather holds!

I aint't ded (yet)!

I didn't realise just how long it had been since I have updated. I have been Facebooking now and then, although FB won't be replacing LJ any time soon for me.

It's been a couple of weeks of ups and downs. Levisham was pleasant as usual, last week was busy at work, Muse was awesome. I am being messed around by a guy (quel surprise) but am trying to count my blessings. I have got bramble wine, burnet wine, and elderberry wine started. My blackberry liqueur is also started and is standing next to the damson gin and sloe gin. I have also made two batches of chutney so far, and will probably be making green tomato chutney. Unless my Mum's tomatoes go red, then it will be red tomato chutney.

I am back on my diet. I haven't put any weight on but I am not losing, which is very frustrating. So I will be doing circuits today so see if I can kickstart some weightloss. That or kill myself!

Out for a meal tomorrow and Saturday, Pagan Picnic on Sunday, out for beer next Wednesday, and York Beer Festival next Friday. So really, I am not doing badly at all.

Writer's Block: If I were president ...

What would you do if you were president or prime minister for a day?


I now have a (very lively) gallon of blackberry wine fermenting, to add to the plum wine. I'll hopefully get elderberry on the go this year too. Off to Levisham for the weekend after work to see Beth and look at steam trains! Choo choo!


Good things:
New Tiffany Aching book out 2nd September!
I just rediscovered Ursula Vernon's artwork. I'll be treating myself to this one!
Five jars of chutney on the counter, as well as four jars of blackberry and crab apple jelly. I am making date and apricot chutney tomorrow!

Maybe good, maybe bad things:
Ellie's GCSE results tomorrow.
Ellie's Norwegian friend coming to visit for five days! I'll be in Levisham for most of it though. :D

Bad things:
The gaping hole in my gum where my wisdom tooth used to be and the pain from that.
This PC seems to be perilously close to dying.

So, on balance, things are good.

Like a bus

You wait ages for one then two come at once!

The "Farmers Market" at the Hotel Du Vin was very pleasant, but I would be surprised if any farmers were involved in any way. There was smoked fish, tea, sausages, wine, more wine, and champagne. The ony thing I went to buy, cheese, was not for sale! But we didn't need lunch. :) I bought a pack of pork n leek sausages, a pack of smoked mussels, and a bottle of english dark rosé from one of the Yorkshire vineyards. Ryedale, I think it was. Going with my mother was a revelation. I know she was Domestic Bursar for various Oxford colleges but I never knew she did all the food buying. She knew the guy who ordered the cheese and he promised to email her as I want the Yorkshire Brie and Yorkshire Blue!! We also got a mini lecture on Cotes du Rhone wine and vineyards but again, they weren't for sale. They tasted very nice and mum knows a wine seller so I bet she'll get him to get some.

Afterwards I got the blackberries I needed, then we went home for a cup of tea. We were in such a good mood we decided to leave the router installation for another day. Yay! I have now got blackberry wine as well as plum wine on the go. And I am off to Levisham for the weekend so it will be fun to see what we get picked there!

Been a while.

It's a busy old time for me at the mo. Not only am I still short staffed at work, I am busy at home too!

Last weekend I took big_daz out for tea. We went to Tokyo Joes (aka Buzz) and had a very yummy meal. Then we went to Pivnis and I spent £10 on 2 drinks! Very nice drinks but still! Then we went to the Black Swan, which I hadn't been to since the change in ownership, and had a couple more pints, then the Golden Fleece for the last drink, which seemed to have some kind of Goth dwarf night going on. Even I was taller than the rest of the customers. As Daz said, now I know how he feels every day.

Sunday I dropped Daz off in Leeds and drove down to Bristol for my course. I stayed at City Inn, which I can heartily recommend - they do free internet! Sunday night I ate at Carluccios. The food was fine but the service was atrocious. Seriously, I have never been ignored by so many staff at once. And because I was ignored, my main was lukewarm. Monday I ate at Brasserie Blanc which was completely different. Food was prompt, gorgeous and plentiful, and the service was excellent. Seeing as they are next to each other Carluccios needs to watch out!

The course was reasonably informative but the people were the usual mix of social rejects often found in the Civil Service. I was glad to get out of there!

Thursday I was in Catterick for a tender evaluation, then went round to see M afterwards. A most excellent time was had! Ellie was in Derby last night so I went to Mums for tea, then got caught in the downpour on the way home. After a while you just don't get any wetter! But I had a bottle of wine so I drank and chatted to my american friend online. Today I have been picking blackberries but, due to the hedges being trimmed, I am a bit short for wine. Hopefully I can get some tomorrow when I see my Mum. There is a Farmers Market at the Hotel Du Vin and she wants to go, so we'll pick afterwards. Then I have to help her install her new router. Eeek!

On the not so good side, my ex Paul is trying to get back in touch. I remember seeing him in York before Christmas when I was going out with Ian and he looked terrible - hair long and straggly, that sort of thing. Then a month or so ago I got a phone call (which I didn't answer - ILU caller display) off him. He left a message asking I get in touch to help him do someone a favour. WTF? I am very unlikely to do him a favour, let alone the kind of people he would surround himself with. Then today he tries to friend my Facebook! Maybe he'll get the hint when I don't friend him back but he is just dumb enough to think I am playing hard to get. So Paul, if you are reading this, FUCK OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE! That clear enough for you, dumbass?


Isaac Bonewits 1949-2010

The Wild Hunt tribute.

I cannot quantify the effect this mans works had on me. Real Magic is a wonderful book which has stood the test of nearly 40 years extremely well. And if Triumph of the Moon made your eyes cross, his Guide to Witchcraft and Wicca was required reading.

Only when you drink from the river of silence
Shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountaintop,
Then shall you begin to climb.
And when the Earth has claimed your limbs, then shall you truly dance.
Have you ever given a friend or partner a second chance? What were the consequences? Any regrets?

Oh, so, so many! I am a sucker for a sob story. I am not sure it is a bad thing to be soft hearted enough to give people another chance, or if it better to be hard hearted and tell them to sling their hooks the first time. All I know is, more often than not, the consequences are the same - unhappiness all round!

Busy at the mo, both in my private life and my work. Last week was a complete pile of wank workwise - two very long, very dull meetings, plus the really really welcome news that we will have even more work to do. With the same lack of staff that we have had since May! According to the tabloids, civil servants are overpaid, workshy, and perpetually milking the system. Excuse me while I am a touch bitter!

Apart from that, things are good. I was out with C on Wednesday and we decided to try Thida Thai on Rougier Street. We shared a platter to start then I had the sizzling duck, which was plentiful and yummy. C had the chicken but, for a change, I preferred mine! Anyway, recommended. Then I got a text from M last night which came at the best moment possible and, as he had the weekend off for the first time since forever I stayed over. Very pleasant.

My Mum, sister and nieces got back from Scotland last night, bringing the wet weather with them. Apparently I was supposed to empty the fridge while she was away so now she has a few pounds of wilted veg. Whoopsie! I am off round for lunch tomorrow, which will no doubt be vegetable soup! :D We only have the hotels to book now for Paris so getting excited now!

I have got to sort out what to preserve this year. I have several marrows off my Mum, C will be bringing me about 10lbs of assorted plums, guy at work has cherry plums for me, and I really want to take advantage of the blackberry glut over here. Unfortunately I am away most of next weekend, and the wet weather makes it hard to pick anyway. Oh well. Tonight I am going to watch Law Abiding Citizen and eat my tea (thai marinaded salmon, with thai rice, and a salad with thai chilli sauce dressing. Yes, I might like thai food). Beth's bringing the sproglet round here for the first time on Wednesday so that should freak the cats out a bit!


Meme pinched from charlycrash. I don't usually do these but I am bored.

It's all about me!Collapse )

Want to go back!

Ever since we got back from Spain I have been missing it terribly, which is strange because it was hardly the most salubrious location I have visited. I think we shall have to go back, although somewhere less ex-pat than the Costa del Sol! However my withdrawal is not being made easier by finding stuff over here that I first had over there, like flat peaches. I bought a punnet when over there and they were delicious! So when I saw them in Morrisons today I bought them, but it's a bit poignant!

ION me and Ellie went to the gym and pool yesterday. 90 mins of weights and aerobics followed by 40 lengths means my legs and arms are like lead! But I bumped into M at the supermarket this afternoon and went back to his for a couple of hours, so I'm not too bad! ;)

Meetings all week, yuk!



I didn't even know this existed (curse my lack of cable....no wait, I hate TV!) but saw it on TV Tropes. Very funny.


Mmmm, it's been a busy week, ending with a busy weekend. :)

The boss got back in on Thursday after his brush with back-ache. I saw him very briefly as I had to drive to Catterick for a meeting. Then Friday I took a half day as I was out with R and, as he had to go to work at stupid o'clock Saturday, we decided to meet earlier than usual. I haven't seen him for ages so dressed up a bit for him. Doesn't look too bad, does it?Collapse ) We had a lovely time!

Saturday was another busy day. I got home about 10.30am, tidied up, changed, then went out at midday as my sister and nieces were passing through on their way to Scotland. They were due to get to York at 1.00pm but, thanks to a long list of accidents, broken down cars, and crap traffic due to the races, they didn't get here til half two! Me and Mum spent the time looking at hotels for the trip to Paris in October. We had (a very late) lunch, went for a walk, then I jumped on a train to Leeds to visit big_daz. Unfortunately Northern Rail had other ideas and the train broke down at East Garforth. We did get moving (just) but held up every train afterwards for about half an hour. If you were on one, terribly sorry!

I had a lovely evening with Daz. It included Indian food, lots of beer, a model sheep, chimneys that looked like Italian towers, a factory that was identical to an Egyptian Temple, and the company of Daz. excellent fun! I got back at lunchtime today, did the washing, cooked a yummy tea, and wrote this.

Back to work tomorrow. A nice quiet week this week - only out two nights. :D

Ew germs!

This morning I had to reschedule my dentist appointment because Ellie had suspected tonsillitis and needed to go to the doctors. I sent her home afterwards with painkillers and juice and went to work. My boss's wife had left a message to let me know he was laid up with backpain and so wouldn't be in for a couple of days. I rang HQ in Scotland to let his boss know, and was told he is off work with a cricked neck.

I am now hiding under my desk.

Writer's Block: Too mainstream

If you've been following a relatively obscure band and they start to become popular, do you tend to lose interest at some point? Is mainstream appeal a turn off when it comes to music?

Never understood this mindset. Surely, if you are a fan, you would be happy when the band are doing better. They're not your pet, to play just for you and a few other hipsters.

I am the epitome of late developer with bands though so I would say that. Took me 10 years to get into Radiohead and Sigur Ros, 5 years to find out about Muse, and so on. There is a downside - it makes seeing them in concert harder because you have to fight for tickets. However I would much rather see a band at the peak of their career than twanging off key in a pub.


Sometimes being environmentally friendly can be a pain. I ordered ágætis byrjun and hvarf-heim by Sigur Ros from Amazon. Now they don't use jewelcases, they came in cardboard sleeves. Very pretty and carbon-low, I am sure, but something wet got in my bag and so they got stuck together on the way home and, trying to prise them apart, I ripped them. Not the end of the world but they were nice covers and now they are in the bin. Bah!

It's been a busy old time since we got back from Spain. Me and Ellie were invited to a friends' handfasting on Saturday at Ampleforth College which was pleasant. Then yesterday me, my younger sister, two nieces, Ellie and my Mum went to the Hotel Du Vin to celebrate my Mum's birthday. It was a very nice meal with heaps of food and a nice bottle of wine.

Today was a very boring post project evaluation meeting, meaning I missed the gym again. Seriously, I can feel the muscle turning back into fat as we speak! I did walk across town to visit G which was pleasant so that would have helped. And now I am listening to Sigur Ros, which is also pleasant.

Hopefully round at Beth's tomorrow to see her and baby. Must remember to look up bus times! Oh, and I will try and remember to put some photos on Flickr for my non-FB friends. It just takes so long on this PC!

Lo siento no hablo español.

As my FB buddies know, we are back from our week in Spain. I can't tell you how thrilling it was to land in Manchester on a grey Tuesday afternoon.

Overall it was a good week. I think Ellie is getting a little old to be spending a holiday with just her dear old Mum. I am suspecting she will be wanting to go away with friends from now on. However, we had some good chats and stuff, and she at least apologises after a strop now.

We got to Ronda and Mijas. We didn't get to Cordoba or Granada, more's the pity. I just didn't have the money or time for those. The main thing we wanted to do, bake by the pool, we got done, so a success there. Ronda was very impressive but was very hot. We got a guided tour and so at least learnt things. It ended up in a bodega tasting wine which was very nice. Mijas was lovely and I am glad we made the effort to get there. A beautiful white village typical of Andalucia. I did feel sorry for the donkeys though.

We also visited Fuengirola Zoo, which is a lovely little place in the middle of Fuengirola. I don't know how much they spent on it but it was very well done. It was a bit sad to see some of the larger animals pacing around but when you consider these places will probably be where the last of various species end up then at least this was done nicely. The lemurs were fantastic, as were the meerkats. Shame I didn't get to see any gibbons but it was a nice way to spend a morning.

Of course this wouldn't be my LJ if there wasn't reference to food and booze. The local Rioja was vicious and the second morning I had a killer hangover, so I only brought one bottle back with me! The tapas were delicious wherever we went and I scoffed plenty. Ellie didn't do too badly either as the Spaniards love their ham and cheese. The one and only time I tried a bit of Spanish was to compliment a rather yummy lunch. I practiced it in my head, said it to the waiter, and received a stare which made me think I had asked him for a dead badger. So I gave up after that. I managed 'hola' and 'adios' without making the locals laugh so we kept to those and used the time honoured English methods of talking slowly, pointing, and waving our hands about.

We did cocktails every night, walked on the beach a lot, and enjoyed the sun. I am a true Brit though so I am not brown at all. We watched a bit of the World Cup (when Spain got through you can imagine the noise!) The only things that marred the week were a particularly clueless and blonde holiday rep, and the flight from Malaga being delayed by five hours! Everything else was great.

I will get round to uploading photos, but I am waiting for Ellie to do hers as she got lots more, and she takes better pics than me. But she is out at the mo catching up with friends and her Dad. I am going to make the most of the peace and quiet.